i’m a little bit pissy right now but i need to get this out. it may even get a little cheeseballs at one point, but bear with me.
so. i do not understand this new thing that has happened now that i’m in grad school where there’s like this new kind of pressure to be in a serious relationship, and all of my friends with serious boyfriends are starting to talk about marriage. and like that’s great, seriously, i’m glad they’re looking to the future.
it’s just… i have a problem with all of these “timing” things. like now my family keeps asking me all the time if i’ve met any guys yet, and my friends want their marriage proposal to be the most perfectly-timed thing, and their wedding will have to be huge and crazy and just… goodness. I feel that there’s so much pressure to get engaged and get married that no one even focuses on what marriage actually means — that these two people are saying they want to be together for the rest of their life. But that’s not what a wedding is about. A wedding does not equal marriage. It’s this huge ass event where you put on a show for everyone. After that wedding day, and the honey moon phase… I really hope you picked the right person and you didn’t just meet someone, date for the amount of time you think you’re supposed to, propose, and then just melt into some boring life.
Besides all that wedding shit though, my real point of concern is that people seem to just get so “comfortable” with one another, and it’s like they think they’re sorta-kinda-happy so it must be easier to just stay together. So many of my friends are in shitty relationships, and I know that I don’t know the whole story and it’s not my place to tell them that, but they tell me they’re unhappy except they think they’re “in love” so they just stay. No, no, no. If you’re not happy, if it’s not working (after you’ve seriously tried to make it work) break up. Too many people get scared to back out, but shit man we have one life. One. Don’t be comfortable and unhappy.
Me? I’m in no hurry to meet someone and get engaged and get married just because time is passing. Fuck that. I believe in crazy, intense love. I believe in never being bored, in loving so hard and so much that the thought of not being with that person for the rest of your life makes you ache — not the wedding day, but the actual staying together part.
I’ve had it once. I know it exists. I’ve learned how to be happy on my own, but when I meet that person who complements me… I’ll know. And I’ll be ready. Until then, stop fucking judging me for going out and partying and hooking up with whoever I want and refusing to settle down, and settle for less.
Posted December 5th | 19 | Reblog | Like